The Art of Saying No

Learn the benefits of saying no, the consequences involved when you can't say no, and how to alleviate emotional guilt and conviction after saying no.

Due to genetics, religious beliefs, and personal upbringing, the masses struggle with saying no and loving themselves first. Individuals who encountered this disclaimer over the years are now experiencing homelessness, mental health issues, regret, bitterness, stress, distrust, and daily feeling overwhelmed. It is time to understand why you struggle with saying no despite the negative consequences of agreeing to say yes. Thoughts and decision stem from both the unconscious negative mind and the conditioned positive mind. Remember, it's not the person's fault you struggle to say no to. 

It is your responsibility to discern when to say no despite being asked. Always saying yes to people, places, and things, regardless of wanting to say no, stimulates emotional discomfort. Where does your constant yes come from? You continuously say yes because you want to be labeled positive by others, accepted, curious about what society will think of you, desire to fit in, build strangers' trust, and accommodate your religious belief system of self-sacrifice. Some root causes of irritation, disappointment, and anger come from saying yes to things you don't want to do.

There are several benefits attached to saying no. Saying no, when necessary, alleviates guilt, unnecessary conviction, and irritation. Knowing when to say no gives birth to completing goals and objectives, enhances focus, and increases your ability to make healthier beneficial decisions throughout life. We are conditioned to believe that putting others before ourselves guarantees success, an abundance of love from others, and acceptance. People who struggle to say no abandon personal goals, neglect themselves for others, and eventually experience a psychological crisis.  

Many feel guilt and conviction after telling someone no. The guilt and conviction you feel come from your positive, conditioned mind. The conditioned mind wants to meet everyone's expectations but struggles to complete its own. A great way to alleviate guilt and conviction is by remembering why you said no and attaching the negative consequences if you said yes. Example: The supervisor asks you to complete three extra tasks despite your busy workload.

The negative consequences involved with saying yes all the time

  1. Unnecessary unbeneficial excessive workload.
  2. More hours are spent than what is required.
  3. Anxiety due to trying to accommodate an extra task
  4. Feeling overwhelmed due to no self-time
  5. The feeling of irritation develops because you've abandoned what you enjoy doing the most.
  6. Regret saying yes due to the emotional discomfort you experience. 

Positive reward attached with Saying no

  1. Free time to invest in what you enjoy doing.
  2. The ability to start and finish assignments without distractions.
  3. The capability to leave work duties at work without tackling it at home. 
  4. Feeling excited, motivated, and rejuvenated to complete the task within work-related hours.
  5. No irritation, regret, or conviction because you said no and put your mental and physical health first. 
  6. More time to focus on self-love, self-pampering, and self-motivation for overall growth.  

You can use the comparisons above and create your list next time you feel guilt, conviction, or sadness when telling anyone no. Remember, you must put yourself in a position to transition before you can help anyone else. If you are too busy pleasing everyone else and suffocating yourself, you cannot help anyone.